For those of us who've experience sexual abuse and have issues with creating healthy boundaries creating the boundaries can feel intimidating. We haven't had a clear sense of what ours is to protect, especially if you felt unprotected. On a very deep level the abuse taught us that we weren't entitled to personal space because it was our very own person and space that was violated. We often see people who have clear
boundaries as mean, guarded or aloof. Inside our soul is crying out for us to stand up for them.
I have often gone around unconsciously allowing people to violate my personal space. Even when I felt uncomfortable, taking small steps to create distance between me and them I didn't challenge it when the space was trespassed upon again for fear of appearing mean or making the other person uncomfortable. I also in turn violated others personal space, not valuing or understanding their want for distance. I labeled them as uncaring, mean or I felt rejected.
Boundaries are necessary. Creating boundaries is healthy and a necessary part of the process of healing the inner wounded that has created a chasm between you and self worth. The value of caring for ourself through creating boundaries reaps plentiful rewards. It fosters self respect, self worth and self appreciation. It allows us to walk the earth as equals. As Responsible BEings fully capable of living life on our own terms. It releases co dependence, judgment and shame. It enables us to walk with our head held high because we Finally Know who we are and our Value comes from inside and we are not defined by anything or anyone
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