Language is an important key to understanding. There are some countries that have no reference for words in English so try as you might to communicate it will be lost to them. The closest thing we could ever hope to relay a message is feelings. My meditation teacher offered me the opportunity today to look at the word surrender. He asked me to come up with another word. My first inclination was to resist. I was annoyed that, now that I’d finally surrendered he’d ask me that. I busied myself with questions and statements that supported my resistance and annoyance. Then I finally allowed myself the experience of looking at the word and finding another word to use in place of it. Here is what showed up.
I first intellectualized the process. I thought of other words that would replace surrender. Everything I came up with sounded like I was giving up or doing something that I felt I had no other choice but to do. In my mind I saw myself waving a white flag and giving up the fight. (This is interesting because the surrender I am speaking of is in relation to God and his/her will in my life.) I even contemplated using a thesaurus and finally I settled on bowing my head and asking my heart what she thought surrender was.
Releasing and letting go is what words readily popped into my mind. I breathed deeper. I allowed the air to effortlessly fill my lungs and released the air not forcing it just allowing it to happen. A few rounds into it the light went on and I realized that “That” was “IT”. Surrender for me wasn’t surrender at all. It was allowance that I felt. An effortless allowing of Gods will in my life. Allowance is a conscious participation in the process. Paul Ferrini say’s in “Loving without Conditions” (page 15) That God does force himself on us, our relationship must be voluntary. To my unconscious mind, the abject feelings of giving up which implies lack of choice and force of will, neither of which God is doing. God needs my participation in the process because s/he does not force it’s will upon us I must participate actively by allowing. The choice is mine.
Thought for today:
Action speaks louder than words
Todays Affirmation:
When I AM in Allowance I AM in surrender!
I release I let go I let God!
