Radical Self Love

I am sitting in Panera Bread Company feeling tightness in my chest. I have just posted day nine of the 13 Day journey into the self and I am wondering what the heck is wrong! I always suggest to “go” with the first thing that comes to mind, so I do that. What surfaces is a voice saying “you need to love yourself more.” This I have heard echoed over and over ever since last night.

(The Story)

Yesterday I went to dinner with a new friend I am getting to know and learning to love. She is intuitive, insightful and wise. We really don’t know each other very well yet and have just started hanging out. So….. last night she said to me those words. I was shocked and felt what I now understand to be was vulnerable and exposed. “Me”! How can she see me so clearly? (insert hysterical horror movie scream) She said she hadn’t noticed it before and all I could think of was how do you see it now?
I am usually the one to be able to see the perceived weaknesses in others, to have this microscope turned to me from someone whom I don’t know yet was a disarming experience. Now I see how the other shoe feels. (insert cynical laugh) I feel vulnerable and exposed. That is not a bad thing merely uncomfortable. What, I realize, causes the discomfort in me is the labels I have placed on the feeling. The label that first comes to mind is shame. I am ashamed that you can see me. Then comes a feeling…. Fear. Will you still like me, just as I am? Ahha! That is it!!! That is IT!!!! (Insert jumping up and down excitement) The shame was really hiding the fear that I am unlovable just as I am.

(The Truth)

I am aware that it is fear that I feel masked as shame. I accept that I am feeling fearful of being loved just as I am. I acknowledge that this is an opportunity for healing a belief and to create a new agreement based in love and self acceptance. I release the illusion of perfection and acknowledge that living from my authentic self allows for the exposure of the truth of who I am and anything unlike that truth comes to the surface to be revealed and healed. I accept the healing opportunity and declare now that in this moment that as I accepted this aspect of myself I have practiced “Radical Self Love” I love me just as in am. I love me when I am in fear; I love me when I am in faith and I LOVE ME in every state of being. (Insert a big self hug and Major self love and happy tears of falling in love with me!! Yippee!)

(Gratitude)
Thank you Ann Thomas for allowing the Divine Evolution of the Goddess within you to emerge in an authentic open dialogue I am in gratitude to you and to myself for being open to let love emerge as us.