Room for Improvement

All around us the death toll rings during Covid 19. We hear of hundreds a day as the apex of this experience begins to crest. As metaphysicians let us seek to actively participate in this process through utilizing this experience for more Spiritual growth and enlightenment so that we emerge from this more improved, more open and loving, more free to love, be loved and know our inherent value and worth unattached to the trappings of external validation or approval. Let us morn the loss of our loved ones and celebrate the death of things that are no longer working in our-lives that we see as we

are sheltered in place. Today let us awaken to the decision to die to the lies that we have told ourselves about ourself and that which we have consciously and unconsciously eaten from others. The spoons filled with insecurities, plates of not-enough-ness and jam jars of self deprecating thoughts and behaviors.

When I was younger I used to live by the motto; good, better, best, may you never let it rest until your good gets better and your better is best. For years I lived this motto and it was a successful motivator in my life. Today on my morning “W’OG”, walk/jog, I had an awakening. My Good is good enough. I am good enough and my best is always unfolding. There is no, good, to get better and no better to make best. Good is good, and it is enough. 

I had a moment of clarity to break it down. Language is so limiting and yet it is something we rely on to communicate. In our subconscious minds it does not make distinctions. It is a factory of acceptance, so to say better implies that there is something wrong with what you have. It says there is something lacking and when we, you, I or anyone creates, thinks or makes something that is good then it is good, period. What is good can be improved upon and that means we take something that is working and make it improved in efficiency, or color, or application. We can improve upon something but if we make something better then invariably we see it as something that has something wrong with it. Can you follow this line of thinking? It is making sense to you?

So all the years I said I wanted to be better, it was in essence saying I was “bad,” unworthy, useless, not enough. Today I realize the absurdity of this and I am able to accept my inherent worth. I can say and mean it, I am good. I am enough. and I feed this to my subconscious mind which accepts this just as readily as she did it’s opposite. I can accept my good and know that what is good within me and about me can always be improved upon. That is evolution. I am in a constant state of evolving. The cycles of evolution, the stages of life can be seen all around us. The Good in us must increase because it is that which gives life. It must improve because it is that which evolves that creates more life. Life is that substance of God that lives in each of us that gives us life. 

You my dear, you and you and you, each of you are “gOod.” You are the evolution in action, love in motion, life unfolding, amazingly, brilliantly, you! 

The Bank of Self-Worth

Self devaluation comes from the deposit of shame, guilt and compromising personal integrity into the bank of self-worth.

Whenever I have made a decision that went against my gut instinct or core value I devalued my self-wroth. Each time I do this I withdraw from the bank of self and became decreased in my self-value until my bank became deficient. This deficiency shows up in my life as lack of funds, not enough-ness in love and affection and self imposed starvation. I of course know my worth is more than I have been accepting so then I deposit the false currency of shame into the bank of self-worth because when I feel worthless shame is an acceptable substitute to love. Accepting the valueless currency of shame in to my bank of self-worth lets me write the checks of guilt to the world because I know what I am giving is a valueless currency of non self-worth. When I use this currency in my interaction with the world I am compromising my personal integrity which in turn continues to deposit shame into my bank of self worth to write the checks of guilt and the compromise of my integrity. This is a viscous cycle.

In order to break the cycle I must first stop writing bad checks. When I am writing a check it is to get something which I desire, love, respect, attention, sex, etc…... First order of business is to stop all action and sit down and create a budget. This means that I will have to live off of whatever deposits of love I have inside. If I am emotionally bankrupt then I will stop the spending of emotional funds that I do not have until I have sufficient funds to withdraw from. It may appear to others that I no longer give and am only taking, taking, taking but I will instill trust into my bank of self-worth by being honest with myself about what I can spend right now. Once I see what I am bringing in I can look clearly at the currency and see it clearly says “In God I TRUST”. I realize that, that is the currency I can bank on and deposit. I can make that a daily deposit into my account of self-worth. Through acceptance and work that instills value and self-worth I can budget what I can expend and value my “self” enough not to go beyond my budget. I will reinvest my dividends into more self-worth and value and before you know it I will have a bank account that is worth billions. I live from the overflow of love that is inside and invaluable.

Thought For Today:
When I compromise my integrity I make my-self valueless. When I feel valueless I deposit shame and withdraw guilt. When I spend from guilt I reinvest worthlessness.

Today’s Affirmation:
I recognize behaviors, thought patterns and beliefs that support self-worth and self-love. I deposit only the emotional, physical and spiritual currency that is “In God I Trust” and accept no counterfeits.