When breaking up becomes a break through.

I have been through several relationships in my many years on the planet. None of them resulted in children. I was in discussion with a close friend who said that her child was the byproduct of her relationship with this amazing man and that the child was the very best parts of him and her. It was that soul born form the two that allowed her to see the very best in him despite the differences. It helped her dig deep into her own being and recognize her power, strength and the gift that she was to the relationship.

For those of us who don’t have children with our partners, our persons or our great loves, when we break up, how do we do that? How do we make the relationship greater than the sum of its parts? 

When we leave, and the pain is great, that pain can become our own birthing process. We are giving birth to our new self. This self, like the child, has  great potential to grow and become a game changer in the society of our own life. We get to allow that relationship, no matter how long or how short to grow us into a more whole, more loving, caring and compassionate individual. It’s our choice. We can become bitter, fearful and angry, thereby throwing the baby out with the bath water or we can nurture and feed the growing sense of Self that emerges on the other side of that experience.

Who we are is far greater than the pain, greater than the dissolution of the two that is now just one. We ARE the love we felt, when we opened our hearts for that love. When we keep our hearts open we open up to loving ourselves more. Loving our very fragile existence in this great cosmos, and truly let love bloom such that all who drink of our nectar will be enriched because of it. Our essence then becomes like honey, sweeting all life we come in contact with. Let that honey permeate our existence so that all who taste fall in love with that which they are, and that which you are, at the core of your being. Throw the bath water out, the drama, confusion, anger, judgment, self and otherwise and keep the baby for yourSelf. 

I know it's a weird picture, I created it because I like it!
Use your imagination to visualize what works for you !

Affirmation: Everyone I am in relationship with and too strengthens and empowers me to experience and express more GoOD in my life in every aspect. I celebrate connections.

Room for Improvement

All around us the death toll rings during Covid 19. We hear of hundreds a day as the apex of this experience begins to crest. As metaphysicians let us seek to actively participate in this process through utilizing this experience for more Spiritual growth and enlightenment so that we emerge from this more improved, more open and loving, more free to love, be loved and know our inherent value and worth unattached to the trappings of external validation or approval. Let us morn the loss of our loved ones and celebrate the death of things that are no longer working in our-lives that we see as we

are sheltered in place. Today let us awaken to the decision to die to the lies that we have told ourselves about ourself and that which we have consciously and unconsciously eaten from others. The spoons filled with insecurities, plates of not-enough-ness and jam jars of self deprecating thoughts and behaviors.

When I was younger I used to live by the motto; good, better, best, may you never let it rest until your good gets better and your better is best. For years I lived this motto and it was a successful motivator in my life. Today on my morning “W’OG”, walk/jog, I had an awakening. My Good is good enough. I am good enough and my best is always unfolding. There is no, good, to get better and no better to make best. Good is good, and it is enough. 

I had a moment of clarity to break it down. Language is so limiting and yet it is something we rely on to communicate. In our subconscious minds it does not make distinctions. It is a factory of acceptance, so to say better implies that there is something wrong with what you have. It says there is something lacking and when we, you, I or anyone creates, thinks or makes something that is good then it is good, period. What is good can be improved upon and that means we take something that is working and make it improved in efficiency, or color, or application. We can improve upon something but if we make something better then invariably we see it as something that has something wrong with it. Can you follow this line of thinking? It is making sense to you?

So all the years I said I wanted to be better, it was in essence saying I was “bad,” unworthy, useless, not enough. Today I realize the absurdity of this and I am able to accept my inherent worth. I can say and mean it, I am good. I am enough. and I feed this to my subconscious mind which accepts this just as readily as she did it’s opposite. I can accept my good and know that what is good within me and about me can always be improved upon. That is evolution. I am in a constant state of evolving. The cycles of evolution, the stages of life can be seen all around us. The Good in us must increase because it is that which gives life. It must improve because it is that which evolves that creates more life. Life is that substance of God that lives in each of us that gives us life. 

You my dear, you and you and you, each of you are “gOod.” You are the evolution in action, love in motion, life unfolding, amazingly, brilliantly, you! 

I AM WHOLE

Yesterday I had to be reminded by a woman I consider powerful and dynamic that what she saw in me is the same. I had to be reminded of my power, and value and worth. I had been having a bad “day”. The other day I have found out something about myself that I am in complete judgment about. I told her that “I am f**ked up”. What she said to me was that “I am not f**ked up. I have f**ked up days.”

Those words were exactly what I needed to hear. I have been going around making my whole life to be f**ked up when this was just a moment in my whole life. I realize I have done this often and Iyanla say’s if you do it anywhere you do it everywhere. I have often made everything bad when one “bad” thing happens as well as everything good when one “good” thing happens. I am especially prone to this particular style of thinking, the creating a duality, the either or complex, because I am a Gemini and we are the twins. My whole life I have been able to see both sides to every situation. Needless to say it has caused me great challenges in making decisions.  I see now that I have been living an either or life when truly there is room for both. I see now how creating an either or vision of the world has caused me great pain. I have taken a wonderful gift and used it against myself. I have sinned. The gift of duality is the gift of polarity and in the understanding and accepting both as one I find my balance I have been searching for. I think about the “coin”. It has two sides. Neither side is better than the other yet when you look at it for what it is, it doesn’t matter which side is up it’s still a coin. The coin is also likened to our life and how we spend it will depend on its value and worth. We are the only ones who can determine that. All of this is a lesson to accept myself exactly as I am in any moment. Not suspending judgment, giving it up all together; laying down my sword and shield and finding my innocence right where I am and in that moment recognizing that “In my defenselessness my safety lies”. (ACIM Lesson 153)

So I ask you too to look at how you judge yourself and in finding judgment you break off a piece of your own self-worth and diminish your value? How, in accepting yourself, the good, the bad, the ugly and the beautiful you can you have a richer more fulfilling life? How does, how you show up for yourself accepting you exactly the way you are open the door to accepting others exactly as they are?  What are the possibilities of laying down the sword of judgment and the shield of defensiveness? Perhaps this is the weapon of mass destruction we should all be looking for. This weapon is the destructiveness that keeps brother pitted against brother and sister against sister. It is the weapon that makes war and destroys the value of the being which causes the rotting stench of doubt and insecurity to rise like gangrene in the spirit and pollutes the love that is already there. STOP the violence of self-hate in any form and let love be the healing salve that mends the hearts back to its original form, whole.

 

Prayer:

My Great God Presence above and within me, My Beloved I AM presence

I acknowledge that right where I am you are and where you are all is well.

I acknowledge that in me exist a duality of the Divine feminine and Divine Masculine.

I acknowledge in me there is a duality of that which I find acceptable and that which I judge as not

I admit that this vision is a construct of my humanity and that in my divine state I see its wholeness. Today I accept my whole being and fill the holes with unconditional love and self-acceptance. Today I accept that when I separate myself from you I am frightened and I can only see my fear. Today I accept that as I cleave to your bosom I find the nourishment and comfort to be able to see through the duality into the truth… I AM Whole prefect and complete in every aspect of my being.

I release the need to separate myself from you and I become fused in me as I AM one with all…. The Creator and the created.

 

In this moment I give thanks and surrender the process of this continued unfolding to you. Amen and Ashe’

The Truth will Set You Free!

When I was just shy of fifteen my mother found out I had had sex (how is a story for another day). When she confronted me she promised me it would be OK if I just told the truth. I did and she smacked me so hard across my face I was breathless. That was the day I created a story that the truth hurts. That day began a twenty seven year journey to find, recreate, re-frame and renew my relationship with truth. Today I realize "Truth" does not hurt at all. my relationship to truth was broken and I did not know how to fix it. I now realize that instead of telling lies to others I told lies to myself that I made up were true to hide the lie that truth hurts. I became un-trusting of myself. I could not and did not recognize when I was telling the truth because my relationship to truth was broken until today. Today I am a truthful being to myself. Telling the truth and being accountable is a powerful place to be in. I am in gratitude to be in truth. I am liberated by truth, it has set me free from a self imposed bondage of my own creation. The Truth is, "Truth" has always been in relationship with me, as I was to myself.

Thought for Today:

We can never lie to anyone but ourselves because as "Momma Iya" says there is no one in the room but you and God. Either I am in relationship to an aspect of god or of myself. When I lie to you I am lying to myself because I don't trust myself.

Today's Affirmation:

I AM Truthful to myself in every moment. I AM child like in my honesty. I tell the truth with no agenda other than being honest from my perspective. I experience authentic, healthy, healing, Holy relationships as a result. I experience a deeper level of trust and intimacy in relationships with every being starting with ME.