The boundaries of Love

Positive Post a Day #91
For those of us who've experience sexual abuse and have issues with creating healthy boundaries creating the boundaries can feel intimidating. We haven't had a clear sense of what ours is to protect, especially if you felt unprotected. On a very deep level the abuse taught us that we weren't entitled to personal space because it was our very own person and space that was violated. We often see people who have clear
boundaries as mean, guarded or aloof. Inside our soul is crying out for us to stand up for them.

I have often gone around unconsciously allowing people to violate my personal space. Even when I felt uncomfortable, taking small steps to create distance between me and them I  didn't challenge it when the space was trespassed upon again for fear of appearing mean or making the other person uncomfortable. I also in turn violated others personal space, not valuing or understanding their want for distance. I labeled them as uncaring, mean or I felt rejected.

Boundaries are necessary. Creating boundaries is healthy and a necessary part of the process of healing the inner wounded that has created a chasm between you and self worth. The value of caring for ourself through creating boundaries reaps plentiful rewards. It fosters self respect, self worth and self appreciation. It allows us to walk the earth as equals. As Responsible BEings fully capable of living life on our own terms. It releases co dependence, judgment and shame. It enables us to walk with our head held high because we Finally Know who we are and our Value comes from inside and we are not defined by anything or anyone
www.kimanidivine.com

I AM WHOLE

Yesterday I had to be reminded by a woman I consider powerful and dynamic that what she saw in me is the same. I had to be reminded of my power, and value and worth. I had been having a bad “day”. The other day I have found out something about myself that I am in complete judgment about. I told her that “I am f**ked up”. What she said to me was that “I am not f**ked up. I have f**ked up days.”

Those words were exactly what I needed to hear. I have been going around making my whole life to be f**ked up when this was just a moment in my whole life. I realize I have done this often and Iyanla say’s if you do it anywhere you do it everywhere. I have often made everything bad when one “bad” thing happens as well as everything good when one “good” thing happens. I am especially prone to this particular style of thinking, the creating a duality, the either or complex, because I am a Gemini and we are the twins. My whole life I have been able to see both sides to every situation. Needless to say it has caused me great challenges in making decisions.  I see now that I have been living an either or life when truly there is room for both. I see now how creating an either or vision of the world has caused me great pain. I have taken a wonderful gift and used it against myself. I have sinned. The gift of duality is the gift of polarity and in the understanding and accepting both as one I find my balance I have been searching for. I think about the “coin”. It has two sides. Neither side is better than the other yet when you look at it for what it is, it doesn’t matter which side is up it’s still a coin. The coin is also likened to our life and how we spend it will depend on its value and worth. We are the only ones who can determine that. All of this is a lesson to accept myself exactly as I am in any moment. Not suspending judgment, giving it up all together; laying down my sword and shield and finding my innocence right where I am and in that moment recognizing that “In my defenselessness my safety lies”. (ACIM Lesson 153)

So I ask you too to look at how you judge yourself and in finding judgment you break off a piece of your own self-worth and diminish your value? How, in accepting yourself, the good, the bad, the ugly and the beautiful you can you have a richer more fulfilling life? How does, how you show up for yourself accepting you exactly the way you are open the door to accepting others exactly as they are?  What are the possibilities of laying down the sword of judgment and the shield of defensiveness? Perhaps this is the weapon of mass destruction we should all be looking for. This weapon is the destructiveness that keeps brother pitted against brother and sister against sister. It is the weapon that makes war and destroys the value of the being which causes the rotting stench of doubt and insecurity to rise like gangrene in the spirit and pollutes the love that is already there. STOP the violence of self-hate in any form and let love be the healing salve that mends the hearts back to its original form, whole.

 

Prayer:

My Great God Presence above and within me, My Beloved I AM presence

I acknowledge that right where I am you are and where you are all is well.

I acknowledge that in me exist a duality of the Divine feminine and Divine Masculine.

I acknowledge in me there is a duality of that which I find acceptable and that which I judge as not

I admit that this vision is a construct of my humanity and that in my divine state I see its wholeness. Today I accept my whole being and fill the holes with unconditional love and self-acceptance. Today I accept that when I separate myself from you I am frightened and I can only see my fear. Today I accept that as I cleave to your bosom I find the nourishment and comfort to be able to see through the duality into the truth… I AM Whole prefect and complete in every aspect of my being.

I release the need to separate myself from you and I become fused in me as I AM one with all…. The Creator and the created.

 

In this moment I give thanks and surrender the process of this continued unfolding to you. Amen and Ashe’