No matter how much we like something when we are forced to eat it, it never tastes quite the same. Think about when you are feeding a baby when the baby is hungry it opens its mouth and when it's full it closes its mouth.
Think back to when you were a child. Maybe at that time you may have been force fed your vegetables and you were told that it was done out of love for you. In an attempt to care for a child parents often make the same errors made by their parents which continues the cycle. They operate from a place of love that is miss understood and damaged. Force is not love. No matter what the situation. Force is an expression of fear. Maybe your parents were just afraid that if you didn't eat your vegetables you'd be malnourished or get sick. Maybe that is why they did it and the covered their fear in the cloak of love but love it was not. It is impossible to get love from an action that does not look or feel like love. If we have experienced this in any form as a child we have learned and internalized this behavior and continue the cycle not just with our children but in all our relationships.
Today I realize that I force my love on my friends and family in ways that look like "doing for" "buying gifts", "running errands, when I don't want too", "sacrificing my needs". I have often ignored a no and pushed onward to give despite the fact that it was never requested or wanted, forcing them to feel obligated to accept what I was offering. I realize now I was operating in fear. I was afraid that being me and giving what I could when i could, would not be enough and more was needed other than what I had. during the time chat rooms were big stuff my room handle was "two much for you" (SMH) this was my feeble attempt to hide my not-enough-ness. I can laugh at the silliness of it all now because I recognize it for what it was and I do not stand in judgment of myself. I have accepted that, that was my way of operating and now that I know better I can do better. What an amazing freeing feeling that is. I know that I have been operating in this way for a long time and I don't expect it to go away over night. I have the ability to choose a new way each and every time it shows up.
Though for Today:
Love does not Force. Force is a construct of Fear!
Today's Affirmation:
I respect others right to say no and recognize this as a boundary not a rejection. I love myself first and give from my over flow. I always seek to act in ways that are in alignment with love.
