Self devaluation comes from the deposit of shame, guilt and compromising personal integrity into the bank of self-worth.
Whenever I have made a decision that went against my gut instinct or core value I devalued my self-wroth. Each time I do this I withdraw from the bank of self and became decreased in my self-value until my bank became deficient. This deficiency shows up in my life as lack of funds, not enough-ness in love and affection and self imposed starvation. I of course know my worth is more than I have been accepting so then I deposit the false currency of shame into the bank of self-worth because when I feel worthless shame is an acceptable substitute to love. Accepting the valueless currency of shame in to my bank of self-worth lets me write the checks of guilt to the world because I know what I am giving is a valueless currency of non self-worth. When I use this currency in my interaction with the world I am compromising my personal integrity which in turn continues to deposit shame into my bank of self worth to write the checks of guilt and the compromise of my integrity. This is a viscous cycle.
Whenever I have made a decision that went against my gut instinct or core value I devalued my self-wroth. Each time I do this I withdraw from the bank of self and became decreased in my self-value until my bank became deficient. This deficiency shows up in my life as lack of funds, not enough-ness in love and affection and self imposed starvation. I of course know my worth is more than I have been accepting so then I deposit the false currency of shame into the bank of self-worth because when I feel worthless shame is an acceptable substitute to love. Accepting the valueless currency of shame in to my bank of self-worth lets me write the checks of guilt to the world because I know what I am giving is a valueless currency of non self-worth. When I use this currency in my interaction with the world I am compromising my personal integrity which in turn continues to deposit shame into my bank of self worth to write the checks of guilt and the compromise of my integrity. This is a viscous cycle.
In order to break the cycle I must first stop writing bad checks. When I am writing a check it is to get something which I desire, love, respect, attention, sex, etc…... First order of business is to stop all action and sit down and create a budget. This means that I will have to live off of whatever deposits of love I have inside. If I am emotionally bankrupt then I will stop the spending of emotional funds that I do not have until I have sufficient funds to withdraw from. It may appear to others that I no longer give and am only taking, taking, taking but I will instill trust into my bank of self-worth by being honest with myself about what I can spend right now. Once I see what I am bringing in I can look clearly at the currency and see it clearly says “In God I TRUST”. I realize that, that is the currency I can bank on and deposit. I can make that a daily deposit into my account of self-worth. Through acceptance and work that instills value and self-worth I can budget what I can expend and value my “self” enough not to go beyond my budget. I will reinvest my dividends into more self-worth and value and before you know it I will have a bank account that is worth billions. I live from the overflow of love that is inside and invaluable.
Thought For Today:
When I compromise my integrity I make my-self valueless. When I feel valueless I deposit shame and withdraw guilt. When I spend from guilt I reinvest worthlessness.
Today’s Affirmation:
I recognize behaviors, thought patterns and beliefs that support self-worth and self-love. I deposit only the emotional, physical and spiritual currency that is “In God I Trust” and accept no counterfeits.
