Upgrading your operating system

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Today as I was working on fixing my computer’s camera because my computer wasn’t registering that I had one, it was suggested to me that perhaps I needed to update my computer.  So, I checked it and sure enough I did! It took the better part of almost twenty minutes to complete the task even after shutting down windows that were open and such. I wanted to rush the process because this happened at what I consider to be the most inopportune time, in the middle of a class via zoom. I wanted to rush through it but I couldn’t. It was going to take the time it was going to take, and interrupting it could cause serious damage or make the system operations inefficient or malfunction all together. 
This led me to think what other ways in my life am I missing connections to key components thereby operating inefficiently and need to update my operating system? Do you still operate from ideas and beliefs that you had five, ten, fifteen or even twenty years ago? Can you use an upgrade to your thoughts? If you are in the process of up-leveling your self through spiritual development, education or by any other means, do you feel it’s taking a long time? Perhaps changing behaviors is taking the better part of twenty years. Can you be patient with yourself? Like the computers update, our upgrades in spiritual, mental and emotional intelligence may take time. It will take the time it needs according to your individual programing. To interrupt it could cause challenges in the outcome of your evolution. 

As we are all on this beautiful journey, be gentle and patient with yourself. Never mind about others. They are there but you can only move, shift, transform and be you according to you, not them. Perhaps your changes are happening during a time that may not be convenient for you or for others, let it happen anyway and find peace in it. Peace brings the Grace necessary to face the difficulties of transition. 

Today be willing to up grade your operating system by allowing new information to enter your awareness and be patient with the time it takes for integration. Just for today acknowledge you are a student in this school called life and as far as you know your graduation date isn’t up yet. 

Affirmation:

I allow my system of thoughts, words and ways of being to be up graded by Spirit and I accept the time it takes to do so. I enjoy the journey. 

Life is filled with twists and turns

Life is full of twists and turns. Enjoy them. 

Be patient with yourself as you navigate this road. While driving today I passed up a street and thought “maybe I was supposed to turn there” never the less I continued on the path that I thought I knew then turned down an unexpected street. Thinking unconsciously that I’d go straight down the street I was amused to see it was a winding road which brought me back to the street I originally wanted to turn on. (Trust that if it’s for you you’ll have it!)

Coming down that road I saw a sign that said parkway. I came to almost s full stop to make sure it was the “right” turn and the car behind me honked. (Don’t let others impatience with you make you rush)

The whole drive I kept changing my mind, first wanting to go left then straight. I know for the drivers behind me it was quite frustrating. For that I  apologize. But that is life. We will make choices and change our mind along the way seemingly right in the midst of a choice. As we navigate what is right and true for us we will make mistakes and even get turned around sometimes. Be brave. Drive on the road of your life with awareness of others and make choices that support your highest good while trusting that others are also making choices for their own good.  This creates independence and works toward interdependence instead go co-dependance. Trust we are all doing our very best.


Truly it’s about the journey and not the destination, for eventually we will all get to where we’re supposed to be. It's this level of trust you must have in order to Align with your greater GoOD

Celebrating The Divine Mother in honor of "Mothers Day"

Celebrating The Divine Mother 

in honor of 

"Mothers Day"

Mother's Day is just a few days away and I have found myself thinking of my own Mother who is in the Ancestor realm now. She and I didn’t quite see eye to eye when she was alive. I feel like now as the years have passed I have more compassion and a clearer understanding of us, her and me individually and collectively. How we are reflections of one another and how I had projected a lot of my own desires on her and perhaps she on me. What I know is that in many ways I didn’t accept her for who she was. I didn’t appreciate the fact that she was doing the best she could with the tools she had. I didn’t accept or understand her as a person, a woman, a friend. Her life was a celebration of motherhood. She made a choice to give birth, she made a choice to raise me, she made many many choices that supported my growth and spiritual development and instead of celebrating that I judged and blamed her for those choices. 

To heal the Mother wound we must love and to love without conditions. This is a challenge for some people. Often times we get stuck in what we want or wanted to experience. How we want or wanted our mother to “show up” for us. If this is the case there is help. In order to get to that place of Unconditional Love we must first practice appreciation. Appreciation is a key to developing love. When we learn to appreciate what is instead of focusing on what is or was not, more of what is shows up. 

Today I have healed many layers of the Mother Wound. I have learned to Mother myself and nurture myself so that I can fully appreciate my mother and all she did to give me life. This is a critical tool especially for those who do not have children. When we do this we begin to understand the constant 24/7 job it is to care fully for our-self. Children are yet another aspect of our self. Because of this level of self care I can and do uplift, thank and praise my mother for the choices she made. I acknowledge and exalt her and the sacrifices she made and the fact that she did the best she could in raising us. I acknowledge that she may have sacrificed a dream and certainly her freedom so that we could be. As I have learned to let myself off the hook when I am less than understanding or caring for myself, I have learned to let my mother off the hook too. 

The physical mother is in part an aspect of the Divine Mother; The Feminine aspect of God. She is also an aspect of the Moon, the Earth and in some cases the Sun. When we have challenges with our own mother we are in some ways disconnecting from our Divine Mother. Learning to tap into that Maternal energy of the Moon and the Earth we learn to move in rhythms and cycles. We learn the harmony and balance between creativity and rest. We learn to respect ourself, our body as a representation of the Earth and our emotions as an aspect of the Moon. We learn to harness the Fire of our Mother God and transform our heart into a home that accepts all of her Children. Every color, race, religion, ethnic background and gender. We get to BE the change we wish to see. Connecting to our Divine Mother is a MUST, if we want to heal the rift that is happening in the world today. We must connect to the Divine Mother Within our hearts because that is where she lives. She is that aspect that knows only how to love. She knows how to protect her children and she as you see now, can and will destroy the virus of hate, anger or rage that flows in the human heart so that She will rise in her purity and holiness again. Our innate intuitive self is the Mother. She is that part that takes in all children and feeds them from her many breasts. Like the Earth her waters are not segregated except by the dams built by her wayward children. Her arms are the borders that welcome all, they are not closed like the borders made into walls that separate son and daughters of the ONE.

Today I write this in honor of our “Mothers”, our Divine Mother, our Birth Mother and our Mothers by through action. I write this in celebration of lives life, dreams differed and dreams manifest.

In Loving Memory of:

Eliza Wilson Reynolds

Dorothy Reynolds Sandville

Karen Harris

Cecilia DePiola

Lois Gross Robinson

Héléne Anna Hall

Our Light is packed away in the recess of the shadow.

It’s almost 3 am. I’ve been up since midnight. I awoke after having fallen asleep early. As I lay in bed contemplating what to do, trying “not” to wake myself up, I heard the howling of an animal. I thought it might be a squirrel. It sounded like it was having a fight. If you’ve ever heard squirrels fighting the noise is quite shrill. This went on for quite a while. It went on so long that I got up and looked out the window to see what I could see but no animals were in sight. I watched as two people strolled side by side. The looked in the direction of the noise but did not stop. I listened, suspended between a desire to run out and save the poor creature and scared of what I might find. I listened as the howling turned to a whimper and then to silence. It was a fight after all, a fight to the death. In the silence I tried to feel something. I knew, or at least I thought I knew, that I was supposed to feel something. But I felt nothing. So I lay there for the next three hours, reading posts on Facebook, checking emails and making pictures on my phone. Then I remembered that it was Solstice, the celebration of the cycles of life. I remembered that this is the time that we are preparing to go within. The lesson that is a gift was almost lost to me. But in the wee hours of the darkness I saw the light. 

The gift was the knowing that like the animal, fighting for its life by God knows what that was attacking it, we to must go through the fight between our ego and our Soul Self. The struggle is an old paradigm. The old paradigm of the way we were to the new becoming that we will see when the first frost begins to thaw and spring nears. The fight is the ego trying to keep us in the light. Trying to keep us from facing the shadows that come up when we go within. It is a fruitless fight. For as surely as the animal gasped its last breath, we too shall gasp and finally succumb to dealing with our shadow self. It can be a gentle process when there is no fight when we go willingly into the dark. And just as suspended between the desire to help the poor creature and afraid of what I might find, we sit suspended at Solstice between the lessening of the day into the night afraid of what we might find. Like the quote from Marianne Williamson says:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

We wield the power to break every chain that has kept us playing small and frightened of our Magnificence when we go into the dark. We realize that we are the light we’ve been waiting for. 

So as I find myself being drawn to the night, enjoying the beauty that the darkness brings and enjoying the stillness and silence that can only be found in the darkness, My Soul lights up. I AM illuminated. I go into my prayer closet. I go into the shadows that I have with a flashlight filled with Faith, a Candle of Hope and an abundance of Courage to light the way. I Go in Peace to piece together all of who I AM so that I remember I AM WHOLE.  

This Solstice I invite you to go willingly into your quiet place. Take full advantage of the shorter days and begin to get in rhythm with the season. Wind down early. Sit quietly in the dark and contemplate your life. Bring illumination to your behaviors by being willing to see yourself. Really see yourself. See what motivates you. What brings you joy and what breaks your heart. What behaviors are default behaviors cultivated in childhood? Are you passive because you’re afraid of conflict or have a need to be liked? Are you aggressive because you’re afraid of intimacy? Are you bitter because you created a defense against having a good time because it was always followed by something bad? Get to know who you are this winter, then the need to want to be someone else will be released. A sweet opening in your heart emerges and you will find the love you’ve been looking for in all the wrong places. You will find the approval you’ve been seeking outside yourself. You will find the permission you’ve been waiting for to Live the Life of Your Dreams! 

Full Moon Magick

The power of a full moon can be difficult to handle  The trick to moving through the energy of the full moon is to be in full allowance and nonresistance to what shows up. Often we're caught up in a whirlwind of emotions being thrown hither and tither with not just what we're feeling but as a result of what others are feeling too. Oceans merge with rivers and streams overflow. As an empath it is very important for me to stay abreast of my feeling, constantly checking in with me to gauge where I AM and measure when emotions have shifted. I pay attention not only to myself and the energy around me but the cycles of the moon too so that I can balance. Finding balance is about awareness so that we can make the necessary adjustment in order to not be overthrown. One of my clients asked me what I would suggest to do to work with the moon to either harness the energy or calm it?

My first thought is time to go outside, right now outside, which is 5:20 in the morning.  Take a look at the moon and let her fill you up. Letting her fill you up is a heart opening experience. It fills your entire being with light and it is as if by acknowledging her, we connect with the moon of our own being. We connect with the light within us that takes us from the darkness we're experiencing and illuminates a radiance of being that emanates pure unconditional love.

Meditating with the moon allows her energy to permeate your body your mind and your spirit so that this light fill you up. This light is filled with all the emotions we've bottled up or kept hidden. As the Eternal Grandmother she has a gentleness and fierceness of the wise old woman. She is nonplussed by our upsets. She teaches us to BE the watcher. She coos at the childlike nature of our minds and emotions. She shushes our incessant whining and pats us on our backs to the rhythm of her heart beat.

Go outside and connect with the earth. Stop, Drop and Roll! Stop what you think you should be doing,  Drop to your knees, butt or back and Roll around in the dirt grounding your energy in the earth. Sit and drop you anchor in the center of the Earth and let her fill you with the power to withstand the tides of emotions moving around you. The earth and moon, mother and grandmother. They will work together for our GoOD!


Prayer:

Beloved Grandma Moon teach me how to be with my emotions instead of in my emotions. Help me to withstand the torrents of inflexibility and rigid thought patterns and behaviors that keep me from being fluid and grace filled in every situation.

Mother Earth, anchor me to your core and help me to heal from the inside out. Provide me with the nourishment of time, thought and behavior that supports being grounded in the present. Help me to stay firm in my Faith when the waters of life become rough with the tides of change. Help me to know when to break open and  let Grandma Moon rise the waters within to cool the heat of my impatience.

Ah Ha moment of the day!

Ah Ha moment of the day!

I keep waiting for this moment when I will "BE" enlightened! I keep waiting for something to “HAPPEN” that will let me know that I have arrived. I board the daily journey of my life in route to enlightenment not really living just single mindedly focused on my destination. I haven’t “really” been enjoying the journey. I have had moments on the journey of joy yet focused on attaining a goal I thought outside of myself and alas I have arrived at the moment! I saw it. It was indescribable, profound and wordless and now I go about my day today doing the same things I did yesterday, slightly different. I have had a chop wood carry water ah ha enlightenment, moment and now I chop wood again and carry water until the next moment. It is a constant unfolding of my being. I realize today it can never be a destination because that would imply an ending and I AM infinite so I will always BE therefore Enlightened I AM moment by moment, in my being, in my inaction and essence of who and Who’s I AM I AM Arrived.

Today I’m chopping wood and carrying water the way my Ancestor did. I sing with the joy of being alive. I sing with a message to let the others know which way the road is clear to freedom. I sing to remind myself that working in the field of my consciousness is my only way. I sign to let others know I  AM coming, I AM becoming, I AM. I sing to remind myself of my home land in the Grace of God. I sing to remember my way. I sing to call to others to get on board. I sing to let others know I need you.  This journey of a thousand miles of enlightened moments has begun with the first step….. BEING!