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Sand flies, Beach tans and Happiness 

August is New Jersey is a big month for vacationers. It’s the month before school begins and the shores are pumping with giggles and laughter and sunshine. This year is the first year that I decided to take an extended vacation. Never before in all my years have I been gone so long. It was often fear that kept me from doing so. The Kundalini Yoga tradition (I’m an instructor Level 1) has a Mantra called the Mul Mantra. The Mul Mantra is a  “root mantra” from which a spiritual foundation is built. There is a word in the mantra that is ਨਿਰਭਉ=nirbho or Fearless. This year I am decided to be more fearless, to live my namesake “God’s gift of Faith” instead of fear. Living in Faith is Amazing and filled with so much Grace! Fearless doesn’t mean we wake up one day and live without it. It means as we are faced with it we feel it and move through the feeling into the Truth. We feel the fear and still move forward. 

My faith took me on a journey, a vacation of three weeks and a deeper development in my Trust in Sources as my provider for all my needs. It was amazing and I feel rejuvenated, refreshed and restored. In fact i’m ready to return to work and ready to put my full attention to what I love. 

Europe has the right idea when they say “we’re on holiday.”  It is a holiday and celebration of life to take time off just to be, to enjoy life and to really Live. So what despite the citronella oil and probably toxic sunblock I still received bites on my arms, legs and back. I can look at each one as a testament to the beauty of the blues skies I laid under and the calm cooling waters I swam in. I can look at my beautiful brown skin now shades darker and know that the vitamin C I received was a natural outcome of fun in the sun! So what my pants are a little tighter and the scale moved up a few notches? I take that as an abundance of joy with mouthfuls of deliciousness! The gym will be glad to have me back in full force! Celebrate it all!!! 

What have you done this summer to celebrate your body? Your family? Your Life? Make time to do something today. If you normally take one day, two days or more off I challenge, encourage and implore you to take a few more. More than you think you can afford too and Trust, Pray and have Faith that you will be taken care of in the process. 

May you be prosperous in Spirit, rich in laughter and blessed. 

Listen here to my favorite version of the Mool Mantra

Prayer

Divine Love/ God's Love/ Goddess's Love,  moves into my frequency and produces vibrations of love. It is the very foundation to my life and as source it is in my breath and my light.  Its resonance and frequency goes out like radio waves and draws to me experiences that support more love. As Divine Love I am fearless. For Love absorbs all things within the atmosphere within and around me and transforms it all back unto itSelf. Only Love is real so only love is experienced. 

Affirmation

Spirit by means of me finds expression as a natural outpouring of my faith.

Our Light is packed away in the recess of the shadow.

It’s almost 3 am. I’ve been up since midnight. I awoke after having fallen asleep early. As I lay in bed contemplating what to do, trying “not” to wake myself up, I heard the howling of an animal. I thought it might be a squirrel. It sounded like it was having a fight. If you’ve ever heard squirrels fighting the noise is quite shrill. This went on for quite a while. It went on so long that I got up and looked out the window to see what I could see but no animals were in sight. I watched as two people strolled side by side. The looked in the direction of the noise but did not stop. I listened, suspended between a desire to run out and save the poor creature and scared of what I might find. I listened as the howling turned to a whimper and then to silence. It was a fight after all, a fight to the death. In the silence I tried to feel something. I knew, or at least I thought I knew, that I was supposed to feel something. But I felt nothing. So I lay there for the next three hours, reading posts on Facebook, checking emails and making pictures on my phone. Then I remembered that it was Solstice, the celebration of the cycles of life. I remembered that this is the time that we are preparing to go within. The lesson that is a gift was almost lost to me. But in the wee hours of the darkness I saw the light. 

The gift was the knowing that like the animal, fighting for its life by God knows what that was attacking it, we to must go through the fight between our ego and our Soul Self. The struggle is an old paradigm. The old paradigm of the way we were to the new becoming that we will see when the first frost begins to thaw and spring nears. The fight is the ego trying to keep us in the light. Trying to keep us from facing the shadows that come up when we go within. It is a fruitless fight. For as surely as the animal gasped its last breath, we too shall gasp and finally succumb to dealing with our shadow self. It can be a gentle process when there is no fight when we go willingly into the dark. And just as suspended between the desire to help the poor creature and afraid of what I might find, we sit suspended at Solstice between the lessening of the day into the night afraid of what we might find. Like the quote from Marianne Williamson says:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

We wield the power to break every chain that has kept us playing small and frightened of our Magnificence when we go into the dark. We realize that we are the light we’ve been waiting for. 

So as I find myself being drawn to the night, enjoying the beauty that the darkness brings and enjoying the stillness and silence that can only be found in the darkness, My Soul lights up. I AM illuminated. I go into my prayer closet. I go into the shadows that I have with a flashlight filled with Faith, a Candle of Hope and an abundance of Courage to light the way. I Go in Peace to piece together all of who I AM so that I remember I AM WHOLE.  

This Solstice I invite you to go willingly into your quiet place. Take full advantage of the shorter days and begin to get in rhythm with the season. Wind down early. Sit quietly in the dark and contemplate your life. Bring illumination to your behaviors by being willing to see yourself. Really see yourself. See what motivates you. What brings you joy and what breaks your heart. What behaviors are default behaviors cultivated in childhood? Are you passive because you’re afraid of conflict or have a need to be liked? Are you aggressive because you’re afraid of intimacy? Are you bitter because you created a defense against having a good time because it was always followed by something bad? Get to know who you are this winter, then the need to want to be someone else will be released. A sweet opening in your heart emerges and you will find the love you’ve been looking for in all the wrong places. You will find the approval you’ve been seeking outside yourself. You will find the permission you’ve been waiting for to Live the Life of Your Dreams! 

Don't Rush The Process

today I experienced a moment of clarity about my behavior. I found myself wishing a particular experience would hurry up and be over. It is becoming my habit to ask questions so that I am clear on why I am doing what I am doing. So I ask "When was my first experience in this behavior"? The answer was completely laughable.

I am a preemie. I was born several months before the due date. It is laughable, that even in the womb I did not trust the process, even in my unformed mind I was rushing to get through what I was going through. Until today I rushed through the experiences I label as bad as well as what I label as good. When I did that I was missing out on all the richness the experience had to teach me. Where do I do this? When do I do this? Why do I do this? These are the questions We must explore to learn the lesson and to heal. When we don't allow the process to take it's natural course we miss valuable lessons and are destined to repeat it. Everything has a gestation period and a time to bear fruit. What happens when we pick fruit before it is ripe? It is usually hard and we manipulate it from the outside making it ripe without having everything it needs.

A country is a reflection of it's inhabitants prehaps this is why we are the most over fed and under nourished country in the world. We rush everything.

My lesson for today is a lesson my grandmother and many others elders have told me and I did not hear the wisdom in their words. "slow down", "Don't rush", Take your time". How many times have you said those words yourself and still rush to and fro?

thought For Today:

When we rush through one thing we rush through all things. Not allowing the process to naturally come to completion we miss out on the lessons that the process unfolds.

Todays Affirmation:

I allow the natural process of life to unfold. I will to will thy will Holy Spirt. I surrender to the process and trust your vision of my life.