I was told once that I
am an all or none kind of a person. Of course when I heard that I denied it.
Who me all or none! Never! Soon after that accusation I had an opportunity to
see firsthand once I was willing to look at myself. I hadn’t even gotten to the
stage of telling the truth to myself about myself this was just a mere look.
Well lo and behold there I was behaving in my all or none attitude. Bling the
thought popped into my head and eureka I accepted it. I accepted it and
acknowledged that it wasn’t working for me. It kept me from fully living my
life and enjoying all the possibilities that exist. It kept me in the
starvation mode always hungry for what I left behind. I then started a see-saw
life style which was another form of all or none. It was all of all. All of
this and all of that, Lol I was a hot ass mess.
This morning I woke up
feeling frustrated. I woke up feeling like I had to put all the fun I’ve been
having aside and crack the whip with a back to work attitude. I took my thoughts to prayer. I took them to
my altar and laid them out through tears and deep frustration feeling like I
was being punished. I cried and spoke from my heart. I talked to God and my
ancestors and cried and cried and cried. I walked away feeling heavy in my
heart like I did it again. I have to find a way to have it all. To have
everything I want in life without feeling like I have to sacrifice one for the
other.
I walk into my kitchen;
the place where I provide nourishment for myself. I start my daily ritual of
picking a principle to work with for the day. Reaching into a jar filled with
cut up strips of paper that have the name of a principles, skills and coaching
tools I pull out with my receptive hand the IVISD Principle of Balance. This
moment was the equivalent of the apple falling on Isaac Newton’s head. Was it my first time hearing the word balance?
Nope! Just like I am sure it wasn’t the first time that Isaac was hit in the
head with an apple. Today it just clicked. It clicked into place like the piece
to a puzzle I’ve been searching for my whole life.
Prayer for today:
Beloved Almighty
Presence of all that IS. My Great God Presence the Almighty I AM presence
within me and above me. I know you to be the perfect pattern of guidance and
wisdom. I know you to be the perfect presence of understanding and
direction. Know you to be divine
discernment and focus.
Right where I am God
you are
I possess a measure of
all those attributes too and what I do not possess Grace provides. I confess I
am ready to accept my rightful place in the power I am as a Master of my life.
I Confess I have mastered the habit of vacillation and confusion. I confess I
have mastered the habit of the all or none attitude. I confess I am ready to
relinquish my hold on it for a hold on the principle that you have given me to
live by. By doing that I Will be a Master over my life and not it over me.
I acknowledge and
accept that I am the only one responsible for my life and the pieces of the
puzzle that I allow it to be made up of. I acknowledge that as I change my
behavior my experience changes. I in
this right now moment let go of the patterns that have kept my life in an
imbalance and embrace what I need to be in Balance in my life through right
thought as wisdom, Understanding as inner sight, Focus through daily
intentions, Discernment through Honesty and Truth. I AM God directed and I Walk in prefect Peace
through my trials and errors trusting in God’s good as the only outcome in all
possibilities.
Thank you Holy Spirit
for how you do what you do when you do what you do! OH YEAH!
I AM BLESSED! Ashe’ and
Amen
